Public Relations Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Here’s a snippet that didn’t make it into my Blog Herald column for tomorrow. **Update** The column is now up and, as expected it’s about the “leaked” briefing note on Fred Vogelstein. My take is about 800 words of “meh”. 800 very interesting words! Go read it

We’ve all seen and had a bit of a guilty chortle about the Microsoft/Waggener dossier on Fred Vogelstein but today I bring you the Apple dossier on the Wired contributing editor.

**Update** Just to be clear, SJ is Steve Jobs…

Choice quotes include -

  • Fred is physically unattractive and kind of a schlump. Try not to stare at him or make him uncomfortable. Do not make fun of his clothes or his haircut. NB: You will be tempted!
  • Fred has been at Fortune for a couple of years. We expect he’ll suck up to SJ big-time in order to curry favor with Kirkpatrick and Schlender, both former concubines to SJ.
  • Fred tends to “blow with the wind.” He’ll sing the praises of a company one day, then turn around and savage them the next. We predict in the future some blog like Valleywag will take him to task for this. Just remember, if he’s been nice to you in the past, that doesn’t mean he’ll be nice to you now.
  • Fred’s mind works at a “majestic” (read: glacial) pace. He rambles. He says, “ah…” and “um…” a lot. For an idea of what to expect, zip into the future and view this video clip which Microsoft will post on its web site in early 2007. You will probably need Internet Explorer to view this, however.

Thankfully, he’s a good sport.

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